Get your denims and leathers on for the finest exponents of classic hard rock in Norfolk, if not the entire East of England. From AC/DC to ZZTop, Black Sabbath to Deep Purple, the Stones to the Faces, we cover the waterfront for an evening of wall-to-wall, heads-down, no-nonsense good time rock'n'roll. The kind that your Dad told you to turn down when you were a teenager. Stealer is available for parties, gigs, festivals, knees-ups, happenings, rave-ups, orgies, barmitzvahs and witches' sabbaths: contact us by email; by phone or text on 07595 547911; or on Facebook. Follow the band on Twitter @StealerClassicR

Band

Kevin Anniss - bass guitar
Mr Anniss, who has X-ray vision (he insisted we included this selfie), plays Yamaha BB300, Peavey Grind, Washburn XS5 5-string and RMS 6-string bass guitars. He makes these much louder with a Hartke HA4000 400-watt head feeding 4x10 and 1x15 cabs. He tunes up with a Behringer tuner and on the floor there's  a Zoom 3000 bass effects processor that can crush hamsters at fifty yards (Gary excepted) and destroys all organic life placed within a ten-centimetre radius.




Henry Gee - keyboards
Henry doesn't mind if he doesn't make the scene. He's got a daytime job - he's doing all right. He can play the Hammond organ like anything: saving it up for Friday nights. 




Craig Humphrey- drums
The electronically operated Mr Humphrey (batteries not included) loves all things Zep. He uses Ludwig Club Date and Tama Starclassic drums, a Ludwig 402 snare, Remo heads, ProMark sticks, Protection Racket cases, Peavey drum mics and Paiste 2002 cymbals comprising 15" sound-edge hi-hats, 17" crash, 19" crash, 22" power ride and a 16" chinese. This is the upside-down one that sounds like a bag of spanners crashing at speed into a pile of dustbin lids. All he needs now is a gong.  



IMG_8702Gary Smith - lead guitar  
Even though he's only a very small hamster, Mr Smith knows the chords of practically every rock song ever recorded. Here he is, playing 'The Star-Spangled-Banner' on an upside-down Fender Telecaster, using his teeth. On stage he uses a Jackson RR5 Randy Rhoads and a Fender Strat with Fender Gold-Top pickups,  a Boss TU2 tuner, an Ibanez Tube Screamer, a Cornell booster, a BossDD7 delay, a Bad Horsie Wah, a Superpet hamster wheel with silent spinner and a Marshall DSL40C combo. Unsurprisingly his favourite guitarist is Jimi Hendrix. "That rodent's got a vicious streak a mile wide!" he squeaked. "Somebody like him only comes along once in a lifetime." He also rates Jeff Beck ("the guitarist's guitarist"), Brian May and Peter Green. His favourite bands are Deep Purple, Jethro Tull, Queen, Free, Thin Lizzy and the Hamsters. He uses Ernie Ball strings and is partial to monkey nuts, and we all think he's utterly adorable. Why he's still single is one of life's great mysteries.

Smurf - lead vocals

Smurf has played more gigs than most of us had hot dinners. Or just dinners. A founder member of 1980s metallers Tobruk (you can hear him on three tracks of their album Recaptured), he's been fronting Harlow band The Donkeys for … er … donkey's years. 

With a personality that would make fire-breathing dragons stay at home in bed, David Coverdale plead the 'eadaches and Gene Simmons run sobbing to the toilet -- and the ability to hit those high notes that make bats fly backwards into parked cars -- Smurf is a worthy successor to the great Paul Noon as the Voice of Stealer. He joins the band on stage in September 2014.


Stealer Hall of Fame

Paul Noon - lead vocals
The Voice of Stealer from May 2012 to July 2014, Paul Noon leaves with our blessing and good wishes to spend more time oiling his rod - pursuing his passions of fly fishing, ghost busting, creating gorgeous rustic mirrors, collecting 17th-Century memorabilia with his metal detector and riding his Harley Davidson 883R motorcycle. We wish him well.




Peter Sutton - sound and vision

After many years roadying and engineering for the band, Renaissance Man Peter Sutton is leaving the band to spend more time with his remaining limbs. We wish him well.